Frozen Feelings of a Dead Heart



Wandering each day in life, living in freezing cold of a dead heart that pumps coldness into the veins of this decaying body, were tears no longer exist, eyes radiating death, that comes from deep darkness where something used to live people call it a heart.

I wondered what is happening, why the cold doesn't affect me, why i feel nothing of anything, I took a step back, closed my eyes and slumbered, not to relax but to reflect the struggle that sometimes I feel inside, an alien feeling because I no longer recognize.

saw i sat there, took out the horror movie that many fear, the movie of the yin and yang of the human inner most hidden war, a war of two things that are opposite that not one can survive while the other exist, the battle field is the heart and the war is between warmth of hope and the coldness of pain and despair, this movie that i watched every time, and with each moment became less horrifying it was a progressive movie for each time I watched it, one of the opponents was winning, coldness filling a heart killing it and reviving it with its desperation.

Yet as much as it won the other part fought yet braver and stronger, like the energy is growing although it's losing, and like every other movie, we all tend to watch, we take favors, I was taking favor of the losing but stronger of the pair, yet its still losing, and its opponent spreading its troops of loneliness, pain, despair, agony, misery, and neglect along the borders of the battle field, yet I still favor it and want it to win, trying to encourage it and supply it with everything I have to offer.

A battle with an outcome unknown I am witnessing, who will win? who will rule? one is winning and the other is losing, but as it is always known that in wars, everything can happen and parts can be changed, yet no one knows the end till it comes, no matter what is wished or desired, who knows what ammo the warmth will use, as there is no love to fuel it, or anything of the sort, but yet one can always wait to see the end, and I think the roles will change some day and whats dead now will be alive then, for whom ever is witnessing such a battle, this is what I see.

Comments

Ed said…
A cold and hard heart is a terrible thing! The good news is that you can ask God for a new heart. David prayed in PSALM 51....Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. God said that he would take out a heart of stone and give us a heart of flesh.
Grace and Peace,
Ed
Abu Gaby said…
thanks dude for the lovely comment most appreciated, and well i believe in never losing hope ;)

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