Finding The Rose in the Dark after a life time of waiting (My Life In Brief) Vol. 5

Last i talked about how i learned that honesty and truth is the best way to deal with people what i also learned is to know how people think by only looking into their eyes, i kept walking in my dark place where every day that passed new souls came into it the funny thing is that at each time a new comer gets in the place gets bigger, it was perplexing as each place gets smaller when new comers enter it, and i found out that the reason is with each new comer his pain is brought with him so the darkness is feed.

i kept on wondering here and there for my way of dealing with the place was different than the ways of others i made myself accustomed to it and this made able to see through the darkness and then i found a light ahead, by this time i was living on making all sorts of friends never too attached to them and never let them get attached to me, no commitment for i don't have the heart to love anymore.

through my wondering i found a light brighter than any i walked to it, it was getting warmer each time i get near that light, then i reached it and found the most beautiful white rose ever there is shining with warmth, at this phase i found this rose in reality and felt something that i have long forgotten my heart beating again, returning to life, i dropped everything and every game of life i was playing and concentrated on this special one that made me feel this way after so many years and nights of no feelings.

i kept looking at that rose for a long time before having the courage to approach her but then on one day i had a sign that built up the courage in my heart to go and sit near her and talk to her of my dreams of desires, and hoping beyond hope and praying with all my might that rejection doesn't find the way, and it didn't find its way the rose accepted me i sat there beside her nurturing her removing all the bad weed around her and giving her love and affection, in my thought i found her finally god answered my prayers of sending me the angel i always wished to have she loved me also she kept me warm and protected me as much as she can and i did the same.

i lived the happiest 2 and half years in disbelief that this is too good to be true, yet i never moved myself from beside that rose and stayed there not moving just looking at her till a time i had to leave to do something so that i could get my rose a better ground to live in i left to find the better ground and cam back to find the weeds had grown up all around her chocking her i started to clean up but each time i remove a weed another one grew till the day i didn't find my rose anymore, she is gone, she left, my heart lost his nurturing angel and it started dieing again i found myself back to the darkness, in pain and agony.

with no understanding to what happened, what went wrong, i didn't give up i tried more and more than ever to find a way out of the darkness each time revealing awful truths and new pains....

To Be Continued in Vol.6 which will carry the revelations of a bleeding heart.


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